


Shall I Stay

by Somekindofflower



Series: Come to Me, My Sweetest Friend [1]
Category: ER (TV 1994)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 20:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17087075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somekindofflower/pseuds/Somekindofflower
Summary: Outtake/Slight change to Strange Bedfellows (episode 12x18).Chuny overhears Luka talking to Abby about going to help Carter in Sudan and helps him understand why that's a stupid idea.





	Shall I Stay

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first foray into ER fanfiction and Luka x Abby. Fingers crossed, I hope you enjoy!

Luka’s at a loss.

Abby’s been so insistent throughout the pregnancy that she doesn’t need him to do everything for her, doesn’t need him to watch what she eats or make work easier on her or anything. He didn’t think she’d react this way to him wanting to go help Carter in Darfur. Yes, there are times she’s been scared of becoming a mother, wanting to make sure they’ll both be in this 100%…he had thought that she was mostly past that now, or that it was about after the baby is born.

Obviously, he’s WRONG, but he’s not really sure HOW or about WHAT.

It’s not like he wants to be away from her. He _never_ has wanted to be away from her, but he’s too scared of her running to tell her that. This life, with HER, it’s everything he wants, and he’s getting it. As long as he doesn’t screw it up. The thought of being that guy, the one who gets everything—he’d been that man before and lost it all. He doesn’t deserve it, and what if he loses it all because of that?

Plus, as much as he wants this child, the thought of the world they’re bringing him or her into is scary. This world that takes and takes and takes—how can he not do whatever he can to make it better? He doesn’t want the darkness he’s seen to get to his child, not again. He needs to be proactive, to help, to do whatever he can to bring a little light back in.

He’s absolutely going to be back before the baby is born. No way is he missing that or letting Abby go through any of that alone. He thought she’d be fine with it.

Luka tries to explain again, in the trauma room with the paralyzed girl who had the bad reaction to the sux that Abby caught, because she’s amazing and doesn’t know it. But of course they’re interrupted. Abby is upset and he can’t fix it.

When he comes back down from taking the philandering old man up to the surgical floor, he tries to go find Abby only to be stopped by Chuny.

“Luka, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Yeah,” he deadpans and sighs. The constant demands on his time are getting to him today, even though that’s normal life in the ER.

“In private?”

He raises an eyebrow but follows as she gestures him to the lounge.

“Did I hear you say that you’re going to go back to Africa? _Now?_ ”

Shit. If Chuny knows, it’s going to get out before he can even figure out what the hell he’s doing and Abby will be even more pissed.

“Uh…I haven’t decided yet. Carter asked and I’m considering it.”

Chuny purses her lips at him. “You really want to put Abby through that kind of stress? While she’s pregnant?”

Luka scoffs and throws up his hands. “I…stress? She’s capable and independent, she’ll be fine. I’ll be back before the baby comes, so I don’t get why this is a problem.”

Chuny rolls her eyes before glaring at him. “Luka, the last time you were there, we thought you died.”

Why does everyone keep bringing that up?

“Yeah, but I wasn’t, so I don’t…”

“I had to tell Abby you died. She thought you were dead for six days.” He does flinch at that. Yes, it would have hurt her, no matter how distant they had been. But she’d been with Carter. And it wasn’t true, anyway. It had all been cleared up almost three years ago. Why is it still an issue?

“She was with Carter. I mean, yes, we were friends, but…”

“Oh,” Chuny huffs and shoos that aside. “She and Carter were practically broken up even before he left. It’s not about him. Would that have made a difference if you thought she had died?”

A hiss escapes him as he feels the stab of panic and loss in his chest just at the question. He balls his fists to hold back from yelling at her for even saying it, for putting the thought in his head. The answer must be plain on his face, because Chuny is looking at him like “I told you so”, but she doesn’t know what she thinks she knows.

“That’s not the same. She wasn’t…I was in—“ He cuts himself off. Luka hasn’t even said that to Abby yet, hard as it is to hold in sometimes when they’re alone and she’s wrapped around him, all sweet and playful. No way is the first time going to be to Chuny instead of her. Though at least he probably wouldn’t have to worry about her disappearing through the door because of it.

The nurse moves toward the door. “Your death broke her. She didn’t leave the hospital for three days afterward, and Weaver had to force her to leave. Just really think about if you want her to have to worry about that now.” She shakes her head ominously before exiting.

Luka slumps against the wall for a minute. She has to be exaggerating. The ER has always been gossipy and they’re occasionally judgy and catty, but if the staff has one person they unanimously love, it’s Abby. Maybe some of that protectiveness has made them see things that aren’t really there.

But…

In the ambulance bay, when he’d first mentioned Carter asking him to come, there had been panic in her eyes. She’d turned away so quickly after telling him to do what he needed to do, but now that he thinks about it, her eyes had looked too bright.

She doesn’t just want his help. She wants him with her. More than that, she wants him to WANT to be with her. God, does he ever. He’s been scared for her to see just how much. He’s also had his moments of hoping she was on the way to falling in love with him. But if Chuny is right? Abby might already be in love with him. Might have been for a long time.

Guilt rushes in then, both for not realizing and for even thinking of leaving her. “I don’t understand why you’re putting this all on me,” Abby had said. She’s even more terrified of this than he is. She won’t dare to ask him to stay, not while she thinks he wants to go. He let her think that, however inadvertently.

Luka doesn’t want to let Carter down either. He owes him. Carter wouldn’t ask if help weren’t truly needed, and the feeling of being needed has always been his weakness. It’s saved his life several times. But being needed by Abby, by the one person he truly loves more than anything, trumps a whole world of needy people.

If planning to leave has given her the message that she doesn’t matter enough to him, well…how can he show her she does? Without freaking her out?

An hour or so later, he’s decided. Pratt is getting shipped off to Carter. Luka should probably feel guilty for the blackmail, but he doesn’t. It will kill two…whatever that expression is about birds and taking care of two problems at once. He allows himself a little grin at the thought of tasking Carter with straightening out his unruly resident. It had worked for both Carter and Luka, so if Pratt gets over his defiant snit, it could be the making of him as a doctor. Pratt has the potential to be great, if he can get past some of his hang-ups. Luka can relate. Hopefully Greg will learn his lessons faster.

Finally, he corners Abby and tries to tell her his plan. She steamrolls over him though, and he decides to give up and let her have her say, even though he could spare her the trouble. She’s trying not to cry just talking about it and, ohhh, she does love him.

_She loves him._

Speaking of marriage as she does, he’s so very tempted to just ask now, but she’d bolt. So instead he settles for telling her about Pratt and kissing her back, hoping his enthusiasm speaks for him. They might get slightly carried away. Despite the frustration he walks around with the rest of his shift now that they (Abby) have decided that they should be too responsible to get up to too much fun at work, it’s worth it. She thinks so too, the smirk on her swollen lips tells him, as she tries to put her hair back in order and straighten her shirt back over her baby bump.

Every time he sees her for the rest of the day, she’s glowing with joy. Luka falls a bit more in love with her each time. He can’t quite believe that he’s the one that makes her look like that. That she LOVES him like that. If his presence makes her this happy he will gladly never leave her again.

 

 

 


End file.
